Monday, November 3, 2008


I always try to hide
the best of me
I don't put myself out there
for the world to see
Things that happen
I suppress
just between
I and me.

Paint Brush
I keep my paint brush with me
Wherever I may go,
In case I need to cover up
So the real me doesn't show.
I'm so afraid to show you me,
Afraid of what you'll do - that
You might laugh or say mean things.
I'm afraid I might lose you.
I'd like to remove all my paint coats
To show you the real, true me,
But I want you to try and understand,
I need you to accept what you see.
So if you'll be patient and
close your eyes,
I'll strip off all my coats real slow.
Please understand how much it hurts
To let the real me show.
Now my coats are all stripped off.
I feel naked, bare and cold,
And if you still love me with
all that you see,
You are my friend, pure as gold.
I need to save my paint brush,
though, And hold it in my hand,
I want to keep it handy
In case someone doesn't understand.
So please protect me, my dear friend
And thanks for loving me true,
But please let me keep
my paint brush with me
Until I love me, too.
Written by ©Bettie B. Youngs
And so it came to be
this isolation that I am
I can only look to me
to find the way it all began -
this confusion, constant
hunger for something more than this
I strive to find this being
that I envision, yet seem to miss.
Could it be that I am empty-
or maybe a little lost?
Could it be that I am lonely,
or seek happiness at any cost?
This never-ending Something
that I am living deep inside,
depicts the illusion of myself
and all I have to hide.


I want to put myself out there
for the whole world to see
so that I may show the truthful me
I part of me
that so long to be
whole again
I have to hide
I have to suppress
I have to stay in a
constant state of silent unrest
I cannot stay this way
much longer
There comes a point
when I just say
Take all that I have
all that I am
I am done hiding
who I want to be
I am done with
those who all those
who suck the life out of me
I know there's more to this existence
beyond what the eye can see.

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