Starting over.

My body aches
my heart is broke
some day's seems as if
my life is an ongoing joke.

I don't know where im going
I sure as hell don't know where Im at
But I must go inside myself
and bring me back.

I've bottled myself up for so long
scared to face the unknown
afraid to open my eyes
to what I have been shown.

What have I done?
How stupid I have been
why won't this ache
ever end?

I am sorry, deeply sorry
both of us caved every bit
but, my dear, I know our love is so strong
we will get through it.

We broke each others hearts
let each other down
what must happen now
is to continue our path, only upward bound.

Send our love for one another
higher than its ever been before
into the clouds
where it can soar.

I love you my dear
with all my heart
I don't and won't
let anything, anymore drive us apart.

-Mp 11/14/2008

Things I would like to share...

To help east my mind, to ease the pain, I need to write to keep me sain.


- she struggles each and everyday
to redeem herself from the past
proving to family and loved ones
that this change will last.

-she dreads the time of turmoil
fearing she won't be strong
praying that when it happens
she won't be wrong.

-she reaches deep inside herself
to a place she needs to find
and grasp a shred of strength
to nuture her mind.

-some of us watch her battle
some have been in her shoes
we know this war is
something she must not lose.

-------------------------------------------------------

I lost myself

-someplace along the line
someplace so lost in time

I judged my footing wrong
and the rest of me just followed along

so I scrambled up to find me
and lost myself in a turbulent sea

but all is not lost, because I can see the sky
and I'll learn to swim, till I learn to fly.


----------------------------------------------

unknown

I always try to hide
the best of me
I don't put myself out there
for the world to see
Things that happen
I suppress
just between
I and me.
-Maja

Paint Brush

I keep my paint brush with me
Wherever I may go,
In case I need to cover up
So the real me doesn't show.
I'm so afraid to show you me,
Afraid of what you'll do - that
You might laugh or say mean things.
I'm afraid I might lose you.

I'd like to remove all my paint coats
To show you the real, true me,
But I want you to try and understand,
I need you to accept what you see.
So if you'll be patient and
close your eyes,
I'll strip off all my coats real slow.
Please understand how much it hurts
To let the real me show.

Now my coats are all stripped off.
I feel naked, bare and cold,
And if you still love me with
all that you see,
You are my friend, pure as gold.
I need to save my paint brush,
though, And hold it in my hand,
I want to keep it handy
In case someone doesn't understand.
So please protect me, my dear friend
And thanks for loving me true,
But please let me keep
my paint brush with me
Until I love me, too.

Written by ©Bettie B. Youngs

Something

by Raquel

And so it came to be
this isolation that I am
I can only look to me
to find the way it all began -
this confusion, constant
hunger for something more than this
I strive to find this being
that I envision, yet seem to miss.
Could it be that I am empty-
or maybe a little lost?
Could it be that I am lonely,
or seek happiness at any cost?
This never-ending Something
that I am living deep inside,
depicts the illusion of myself
and all I have to hide.


_____________________________________________________________________

I want to put myself out there
for the whole world to see
so that I may show the truthful me
I part of me
that so long to be
whole again
I have to hide
I have to suppress
I have to stay in a
constant state of silent unrest
I cannot stay this way
much longer
There comes a point
when I just say
Take all that I have
all that I am
I am done hiding
who I want to be
I am done with
those who all those
who suck the life out of me
I know there's more to this existence
beyond what the eye can see.